5 Signs of Dangerous Caregiver Stress and Sleep Deprivation

Now, where was I?

Do those words sound familiar?

1. Do you walk in a room and can’t for the life of you remember why you’re there?

2. Have you walked into a grocery store and just didn’t have the energy to shop–and just left?

3. Have you sat a red light and not realized it turned green?

4. Have you forgotten appointments again and again?

5. Do you find yourself zoning out when family and friends are around? Have you wondered if you said good-bye when talking on the phone because you were talking on the phone–and now you’re not–and you’re not quite sure what happened?

That’s caregiver stress for ya. Not ony our loved ones with dementia and Alzheimer’s face memory issues. It’s not that we all don’t do those things, but for a caregiver, it could be a daily occurrence.

Sure, we all do that, and mid-life or menopause gets blamed, but it’s also a major sign of stress–the bad kind, the kind that’s not good for your heart–and could be dangerous. Sandwich generation-ers have so, so many things to remember–so many people to take care of. I know, I can’t tell you how many times I stood in front of the open frig door and couldn’t remember what I was there for.

So, what do you do? Quit caregiving? Not an option?

1. You have to, have to get sleep. Keep a sleep diary–if you’re regularly getting under six hours sleep, you have to begin to think about solutions to this problem. Sleep deprivation can no only affect your day-time activities, but is a contributing factor to heart disease and car accidents.

According to the National Family Caregivers Association (www.nfcacares.org/ )

Elderly spousal caregivers with a history of chronic illness themselves who are experiencing caregiving related stress have a 63% higher mortality ratethan their non-caregiving peers.

Source: Schulz, R. and Beach, S. R., Caregiving as a Risk Factor for Mortality: The Caregiver Health Effects Study. Journal of the American Medical Association, Vol. 282, No. 23, December 15, 1999.

Stress of family caregiving for persons with dementia has been shown to impact a person’s immune system for up to three yearsafter their caregiving ends thus increasing their chances of developing a chronic illness themselves.

Source: Drs. Janice-Kiecolt Glaser and Ronald Glaser, “Chronic stress and age-related increases in the proinflammatory cytokine IL-6.” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, June 30, 2003.

Family caregivers who provide care 36 or more hours weekly are more likely than non-caregivers to experience symptoms of depression or anxiety. For spouses the rate is six times higher; for those caring for a parent the rate is twice as high.

Source: Cannuscio, C.C., C. Jones, I. Kawachi, G.A. Colditz, L. Berkman and E. Rimm, Reverberation of family illness: A longitudinal assessment of informal caregiver and mental health status in the nurses’ health study. American Journal of Public Health 92:305-1311, 2002.

So, are there some real solutions for real caregivers?

It’s not easy, and I’m not trying to placate you. You’re probably going to have to do some trial and error, but consider these options:

• Make your room peaceful–take out the clutter. Cover the windows so light won’t wake you. Cover your alarm clock–you’d be surprised how that glowing light can bother you!
• Make sure you have all the “creature comforts” you need–a comfy pillow and cover, less stuff lying around, a bowl of lavendar or camphor that seduce your body into sleep, and nonrestrive pajamas.
• Create bedtime rituals–brush your teeth, change into your jammies, put on some lotion, lay out your clothes for tomrrow, get snug in your bed–make it a pleasure to get ready for bed.
• If you have nighttime potty issues, avoid drinking anything two hours before you go to sleep. Eat dinner early so your tummy isn’t still working far into the night.
• Say your prayers–or some form of meditation that includes gratitude. Going to sleep with a happy heart makes you sleep better.
• Avoid replaying the day in your head. Pick a visual–a rose, a lake, a meadow–and focus on that visual–push worries and regrets out of your mind.
• Make sure your room is not too hot–most people sleep better with cool air not stuffy air.
• Do ”toes to head” relaxation method–tense each muscle for 5-6 seconds, and then release it. Do this all the way up the body.  
• If you don’t have to wake up to an alarm clock, then don’t. Waking naturally is best.
• Get your loved one on a schedule you can live with–offer breakfast and pills at a time that is reasonable for you–it may take awhile, but slowly get them on your schedule–not you on theirs.
• In the morning, take care of your needs first. Have your coffee, your morning gratitude prayer, and a good stretch (and for me, journal time) before you start your giant “to do” list.
• Get a calendar and give yourself a star for each good night’s sleep. When you don’t sleep well, ponder the culprits–did you watch TV too late? Eat ice cream at 10:00? Forget to cover up the clock? Is something bothering you? Figure out what it is, and try to fix it!

Now this doesn’t address your loved one who doesn’t seem to need sleep, and doesn’t think you need it either!

Next blog….I promise.

Carol D. O’Dell

Author of Mothering-Mother: A Daughter’s Humorous and Heartbreaking Memoir

available on Amazon and in most bookstores.